Living by Your Values: The Truth About Imperfection and Growth
If you’ve followed my work for a while, you’ll know I speak often about values—how they guide our decisions, shape our relationships, and ground us in who we truly are. Whether we’re individuals, teams, or entire organisations, values are meant to be our compass.
But let’s get real: none of us live in perfect alignment with our values all the time.
There are moments we get it wrong.
Moments where fear speaks louder than courage.
Moments where we react rather than pause.
Moments where, with hindsight, we realise we didn’t show up as our best selves.
It’s not because we’re bad people. It’s because we’re human. And being human means we will stumble. The question isn’t if we mess up—it’s what we do after.
Living by Values Isn’t About Perfection
It’s easy to hold onto our values when everything’s going well. But when life gets messy—when pressure builds, emotions run high, or stress clouds our judgement—that’s when our values are put to the real test.
Maybe you value honesty, but you softened the truth to avoid hurting someone.
Maybe you value fairness, but under pressure, you gave in to bias.
Does that make you a hypocrite? No—it makes you human.
True integrity lies not in never slipping, but in how quickly we recognise it, own it, and realign.
The Weight of Guilt (And What It Teaches Us)
Often, it’s not just the mistake that haunts us—it’s the guilt that lingers. We replay the moment in our heads, convincing ourselves we’ve ruined our credibility or let others down beyond repair.
Guilt can be a useful signal—it means we care. But left unchecked, it can turn into shame, trapping us in cycles of self-judgement.
The hardest part? Forgiving ourselves. Because most of the time, the harshest critic isn’t the world—it’s us.
The Power of Awareness and Reflection
We do the best we can with the tools we have at the time. But growth means upgrading those tools. That begins with awareness.
The next time you notice you’ve acted out of alignment, ask yourself:
What value was I disconnected from?
What triggered that response?
What will I choose next time?
Owning your actions—without defensiveness, without avoidance—is the mark of a resilient, self-aware leader.
The Ego and the Fear of Being Seen
Here’s the thing about judgement: it’s rarely about the person being judged. More often, it reveals more about the person doing the judging. Whether it’s others judging us, or us judging ourselves, it’s the ego trying to stay in control.
The ego fears mistakes. It wants to look good, avoid criticism, and maintain the illusion of perfection. But if we live only from the ego, we miss out on growth. We become reactive, defensive, disconnected.
The alternative? Lead from self-awareness, not self-protection.
Forgiveness: The Gateway to Growth
One of the most powerful things you can do as a leader (and as a human) is forgive—yourself, and others.
Forgiveness isn’t saying what happened was okay. It’s saying you’re ready to release the hold it has over you. It’s choosing to focus not on what was, but on what can be.
Growth doesn’t come from punishment. It comes from compassion, reflection, and forward movement.
Every time you’ve misstepped or acted out of alignment, it taught you something. Those moments don’t disqualify you from being a values-led person. They are what makes you one.
So if you’re carrying the weight of a past decision, if you’ve questioned your integrity, if you’ve ever wondered whether you’re “doing leadership right”—take a deep breath.
You are not defined by your mistakes. You are defined by your next choice.
This Is What It Means to Live Your Values
Living your values isn’t about flawless execution—it’s about coming back to your centre again and again, choosing to act with awareness and intention.
This is what growth looks like: not perfection, but the willingness to keep showing up.
And that? That’s more than enough.
With gratitude, Reem Borrows
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